thinking about making it

so the pursuit in music has always been money. for me anyway. i really look back fondly on the times i spent with vivek. those few months i had a band with damien were great. the day i had a standing ovation was amazing. and the many shows ive done with anita have been great. i guess you could say i need music. i used to learn recorder in england. violin and keyboard at qegs. singing hymns from the yellow books. watching people at the local temple. being in chicago and standing and singing. learning the harmonium and the tabla. these are my memories. we learned shabads even though we didn't know the meaning. even singing songs in heathfield. this is like from preschool on. in ohio getting the trombone. getting the guitar. the trombone was because of a girl. picking up that godzilla cd. and that poorly chosen snoop dogg cd. getting the soundtrack for little nicky. picking up led zeppelin 4. led zeppelin 1. getting rush 2112. human clay by creed. the beatles. these were all cd's i was given. the highschool years. going over to allan daugnheimers and being shown blink 182. these were the sounds that explained my condition. radiohead in highschool. coldplay on the radio.

as i went to college, i downloaded. many new bands. many new styles. bloc party. interpol. iron and wine. ever more diverse in their style. it was all very cool. so im definately a fan of listening to music. and im also a fan of playing it. ive been on many stages. ive recorded two albums. three really. two and a half. the second one got botched. what with the death. the first was in highschool. a project for immersion. the third one with anita in central city. a stab back at the old style. but music is definately in me. i travel with a guitar. it gets used. we do open mics. they're not bad. we meet people through them. these people aren't all bad. but i've written words. i've gotten really into writing words. and i've written many songs. i've been into writing music for a long time. right now i need to get a new pedal for my setup. it broke at a show. it costs alot. i got two but asked my mom to return them. im gonna go out and buy it again. i guess you could say i want a band. i would love to learn turntables. over time ive developed my identity as a writer. the lyrics specifically. im still all over the place with music. i love listening to music. when it comes to playing i love it too. but ive made up so many its hard to remember the tunes. and i need to memorize them for shows.

but music is just a joy to do. i used to think that it was a bad thing. something that kept me isolated in the basement. i kinda feel like thats more to do with my parents now. but it was a way to communicate. and over the years i got alot of stuff off my chest. so i guess thats that. i dont know what i want with my music. i dont know if i want to be famous. ive read about how it can be bad. i feel like im in the wrong part of the world. my kinda music gets played in the city. the midwest doesnt support it. im really british in my music. ive got the passport to go there. but i dont know what i'd do. maybe we could try and go there as a working band. that would be interesting. im not sure how they would recieve me there. but it would be something to check out. a friend of mine from Heathfield has a band. she actually became very successfull. i was very impressed when i found out. we'll see though. i guess we need a band name. i dont wanna be called deganwy's lost son anymore. at least thats what i thought in boston. i guess while im in beavercreek it suits me just fine. but the identity changes as i leave. interesting how that works, huh? but i wanna do another album while im here. to keep things rolling. keep building. and keep moving forward

central city does a good deal. 250 dollars 8 hours. you can do alot in 8 hours. i did 3 cd's. that was alot of fun. i really do wanna be famous with music. i think it would be pretty awesome. thats what me and vivek worked for back in the day. we both really wanted to make it alot. we would roam around the streets of columbus and try to get shows and gigs. we did lots of open mics and we tried to form bands. but i think columbus is too small to form a band in. but they do have good deals on recording. we used to get into different parties and stuff. we played a show for a guy that i had met like once. it was all excitement in those days. vivek was always into the next new thing. and i was kindof along for the ride. and it was a glorious momentus ride. he taught me so much about recording. about the enthusiasm for music. about how to sit down and write a song. we would sit with our guitars for many hours. i would sit with mine with lauren and damien and rob. my time in the corridors of mvs. those wayward jams with paul. my time with the jazz ensemble. the night owl show. my senior recidal. the cd i worked on. showing people my work in college. playing through the talent show.