talkin bout shit

list of changes we need to make w/ bc + nick
- their messiness
- the fact that they never clean up the music equipment
- the kitchen
- i'd say the fact that they're here for way too long
- no facebook
- i'd say they need to stop making all this noise when im trying to do really difficult guitar parts
- noise / arguing
- they need to stop insulting my lyrics when im trying to write them.

well, what do you think about how they keep saying im arguing.

i dont know

do you think i am?

i dont know. you all argue.

nick just started yelling at me and then said i was arguing at him. and then bc got his back and said i started it. and then bc started asking some stupid shit and i answered. and then nicks like, "youre being rude." and he went on a ten minute rant about how i was being rude. and when i tried to get them to figure out which songs we were going to do for the list, they basically refused to respond. and they basically ignored me when i was trying to make the loop. basically they were asses the whole time. here's what i think

who i feels being a bit invasive

so you think he's being invasive?

well why do you think i always hide off when theyre in here. you know? every time theyre here is tay away from this room. i come to the kitchen when imhungry and i cook. but i clean up after myself. nick left the pan on teh stove with the burner on. he wasnt cooking anything just burning leftovers.

basically, theyre trashing our place. and theyre basically like, making you feel uncomfortable. and theyre basically like not in harmony with our home. if theyre gonna be here they have to treat our place with respect

yeah there's always beer cans all over the place when they leave. i just, i dont know, why didnt nick take his equipment with him. we're not a storage spot. you take your shit.

yeah i mean like, see this is why i needed to cancel all the other shit. cause there's so much wrong with this band right now that it takes all mya ttention. i can only really commit to one new thing at a time, school is old, but this band is new. our relationship is old but the bands new, you know what im saying. and like... so there's so much wrong right now. they're calling me an ass but if you look how they acted they were the ass today. do you think i was an ass yeserday?

not really. i mean maybe a little bit when you got pissed off. but they made you pissed off, and you calmed youself down, and you made them feel the way you feel. i dont consider that being an ass, i consider that helping them understand. helping them grow as human beings. cause apparently they cant put themselves in other peoples shoes.

yeah its like, there's basic shit that they just don't get. bc was literally imitating me and denied it in the middle of the act.

yeah, that wsa fuckin rediculous.

and bc walked up to me and said good job on not arguing today

what?

exactly.

i would be like good job on being so lazy today, peace. like... oh my gosh.

exactly, and now you understand why this is stressful.

i already knew it was stressful, i shied away at first, and now im gettnig more involved. before then, all i really noticed was how messy theyd make the apartment.

see the thing is, those were the only problems at the time.

yeah, theyre adding up now. you never argued before. it was chill as fuck when it was just you and bc. you know? you guys would work.

thats the point, thats what iw as telling you, i knew when nick got involved it would get like this.

its complicated cause he's got talent, but put him and bc together and theyre completely children and youre the adult in the situation and im like, i feel like a fucking housewise.

see, thats, i wish you had the balls to say that to them.

im sending them a message saying all that shit to them right now. im sick of the bullshit man. like youre going to schoo,l he's got a job but thats not as stresful. all he has to do is flip burgers and push buttons.

i mean like, they just gang up on me.

yeah.

the band wasmy idea. it was my diea every time we get together. and i was the one who decided to give them more power. and they decided to use it to be asses. theyre like classless fuckfaces. nick goes back and forth from being understanding and being an ass. same with bc really. theyve come to think that its a really fun thing to fuck with me. they have it convinced that im the one doing something terrible to them. all im doing is treating them like adults. and they dont know how to handle it. theyre scared shitless of being adults. they dont know how to fucking act like men. like theyre given this great oppertunity. and all they can think of to do with this shit is to fuck with me. if it keeps going like this then im going to cut them off. ill just go back to the open mikes but this time i have a method to write songs. because basically im not gonna put up with this kinda crap. ive been very patient with them through the whole process. and theyve just picked me apart as if im an entertainment form to them. thats fine, im an immigrant, they dont udnerstand my point of view. but strangely i understand there's. what the truth is is theyre just too dumb to understand anything. theyre too ungentlemenly to hold their tongue in these situations. and they have no fucking way to deal with stress. they feel like the world revolves around them. and theyre pretty close to losing me as a bandmate.

i actually wonder if theyre the reason all the other people didnt wanna play with us. not even nathan really. malcolm was always a tool. see lilly was goodbut she's also a bit of a tool. and like... same with fuckin... tyler and kei kei. there was this guy called gatsby who was pretty good but he flaked out. ironically he was the most talented person in the group. maybe all the issues that imseeing now were directed to him at the time. and ultimately maybe nick and bc are chasing all the talent away. because look at this, im the onewho attracted those poeple in the first place. all those people liked me and i think nick and bc pushed them away. nick would always stand back and complain about shit. the first jam session he just stood back silent with a frown on his face. and then afterwards he said, "i thought you were an ass" to me. he's basically obsessed with being afraid of being bossed around. like he's kinda one of those people who has an inadaquacy issue. and bc is just an anger management case that needs to go to a couple more sessions. i think the shame is they dont realize how fuckin fucked up they are. they think i was fucked up but if i was fucked up i never wuolda been able to put together the jam session. and the first jam session we had was 10 people and 9 of them only nkew me. they came on good faith based on reccomendation from me. they all assumed that everyone was gonna be as cool as me. but as it turned out, most of the people werent. and so we lost basically everybody. and the only people we could keep are probably the ones that drove everybody away. like im a talented dude and they dont respect my talent. i try to write music and they interupt me. i try to talk about music and they insult me. i try to write lyrics and they insult them. like, every part of what i do gets insulted at this point. and if i say anything about what they do then they say that im the bad guy. which is really the sortof of thing youd expect from a childminded motherfucker. like, im getting zero respect right now, they want me to do things their way, and their way of convincing me is trying to insult me again and again. they have zero people skills. and they have no clue how to run a successful organization. and they have so many little mental insecurities and shit.